


Hell Bound

by Luciferine



Series: Straight on 'Til Morning [2]
Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst, Compliant to First Game Only, F/M, Family, Gen, Written Prior to Sequel Release, and how many people hes killed, angry emotionally constipated texan brothers, everyones doing the best they can, everything is just really complicated, its getting fucking ridiculous at this point, joel/ellie if you squint, people should really stop questioning joel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 20:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luciferine/pseuds/Luciferine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joel and Ellie finally get to Tommy's, but the family reunion isn't as joyous an occasion as they might have hoped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hell Bound

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I promised a series-wide edit to make SOTM bigger and better than ever, and this is me delivering. Same story, bonus content. I hope you enjoy it.

It all starts heading south when one of the guards tries to grab Ellie.

Joel doesn't know  _why_  –it could be her limp, or the blood on her mouth or the haunted look reflected in her eyes- but something about her must set off warning bells in their heads, must scream  _Infected_. They're right, of course, but he'll be damned if he lets them figure it out, because he knows how this ends if they do. What happens next only serves to convince him further; as he and Ellie are being ordered to halt and one guard starts getting a little too close to her for either of their likings, he's already planning the quickest way to drop the bastard.

Joel catches the movement a split second before she does, seizing the other man by the wrist before he can make contact. If Joel's grip is just a bit tighter than necessary, if his mouth curls into a snarl reflexively, it's less habit and more that he's bone-tired of Ellie having to fight off men who have  _no_  business touching her while he sits on his ass.

Ellie flinches away from the stranger, and bile burns in Joel's throat as he tries not to think about  _why_. She collides with his chest in her haste, and he expects her to jump at the unexpected contact. She doesn't, and remains where she is as she glares at the guard. "Watch it, asshole," she bites out, firm enough that Joel's sure he's the only one who notices the panicky undercurrent.

He sees her go for her gun out of the corner of his eye, and curses under his breath right along with her as they both realize it isn't there. He spares a moment to hope she still has her knife on her, and then tugs at her arm with his free hand. Part of him expects her to ignore him, or snap that she can take care of herself. He's honestly surprised when she doesn't, when she lets him move himself between her and the immediate threat.

"Don't touch her," he growls, grip tightening even further on the other man's wrist. He feels bones creak under his grasp and something like satisfaction unfurls in his gut at the fear that creeps into the guard's eyes.

The guard narrows his eyes and attempts to pull his hand back. Joel doesn't let go. "It's standard," the guard explains through gritted teeth. "Everyone gets checked for infection at the gate. Tommy said you guys were clear last time, but we can't afford to take any chances."

Joel nods his understanding, his tone perfectly conversational as he speaks. "'Course you can't. We're clean, but if you wanna check me out, that's fine." He shrugs. "You can search me if you want," he repeats, "but no one touches the girl." He's had just about enough of people coming at him and trying to tear Ellie from him. The guard's expression hardens, and Joel knows he won't be making deals anytime soon.

He falls back into a familiar strategy then, dismissing the man in front of him as an obstacle, marking him as something disposable instead of anything near  _human_. It's easier to flip that switch than it's ever been, knowing what this bastard would do to Ellie if he got a hold of her, if he  _saw_. It's almost laughably simple; to channel the uncertainty and the anger he's been feeling, to turn it into violence. Joel could break this man's wrist with one movement; he could snap his neck with just one more.

Joel sees movement out of the corner of his eyes; the other guards. His revolver is out and aimed before his next breath leaves his lungs. The movement stops completely, but he doesn't lower his gun. "We don't want any trouble," says the guard he's still grasping, clearly distressed.

His words seem sincere –pain tends to bring out honesty a fair bit faster than anything else- but Joel's learned to trust body language a hell of a lot more than speech. The guard's free hand is creeping towards his holster and telling Joel an entirely different story than the words just out of his mouth.

"I wouldn't," Joel warns, his tone even. He twists the guard's wrist at an awkward angle, not tearing anything just yet but near enough that the man groans in pain.

Low, urgent murmuring comes from the others, and Joel wonders how long he has before they're drawing on him, on  _them_. He doesn't kid himself; if his little brother wasn't running the place, pieces of him would already be plastered to the gate. He stays his hand despite the itch of his trigger finger, knowing full well that whatever trouble he makes will bring hell down on both of them.

Then again, it might be too late for caution. It's been  _moments_  since they walked through the front gate, and he's already semi-torturing a man. There's something there about old habits, he's sure, but he doesn't care enough to give it much thought.

"We're not going to hurt her," says another guard, descending cautiously from the top of the gate. Several others watch curiously, but make no move to follow her. "Just let us check you both over, and then you can be on your way."

He doesn't bother to respond, choosing to run through his options once more instead.  _Six guards in total; two on the ground, four on the gate, all armed. We could make it, if I could just-_

"Joel." Ellie's voice is urgent, the underlying alarm in her voice prickling at his conscience. She should never have to sound so afraid, he'd do anything so she wouldn't have to be afraid…

"Yeah," he mutters in response.  _I know, I see it. Get ready_. He doesn't have to say the words for her to understand; she tenses beside him, ready to bolt at his say.

He spares a moment to curse their timing. Ellie's still off-balance because of whatever the Fireflies gave her and she fucked up her foot on the way here; she's in no position to fight. He doesn't acknowledge his own exhaustion; rest isn't an option right now, and neither is failure.

"Unless you've got something to hide?" the second guard ventures, hesitant like she doesn't quite want to believe it. Joel feels the tension mount, resignation settling in his gut as he watches the guards shift into a more threatening position. This, he recognizes all too well.

"I reckon our business ain't none of your concern," Joel counters firmly.

He feels the familiar buzz of adrenaline course through his veins, and spares a quick glance to the girl at his side. Bright eyes flick up to meet his and Ellie nods almost imperceptibly. Despite the gravity of their situation, he can't help the relief that floods him at the knowledge that things are as they should be, at least for now; the two of them against their enemies.

Even the knowledge that they'll be running again soon doesn't dampen his spirits; at least they'll be running together. The joy that thought fills him with comes double-edged with self-disgust, and he tries not to dwell on how he must be sick all the way to his goddamn  _bones_ , to be so glad to steal her away again.

"We don't mean you any harm," says the first guard, shifting nervously. "If you're clean, you're more than welcome."

Ellie snorts disbelievingly at Joel's side, and he's inclined to agree with her skepticism. The guard scowls at the sound, finger twitching again to the safety of his gun. Joel narrows his eyes at him.  _Just try it, you fucker,_  he thinks.

"We don't want any trouble," the first guard repeats.

"There's not going to be any trouble. Stand down, all of you."

The voice that speaks up is distantly familiar, and Joel hazards a look out of the corner of his eye as he observes the figure approaching them from the town. Her hair is longer, and there's a scar on her neck that definitely wasn't there before, but Joel recognizes his sister-in-law well enough.

"That means you too, Joel. Let him go." He obeys, if a bit grudgingly. Joel bites back a smirk as the guard rubs his wrist and grimaces, before turning his gaze back in Maria's direction.

The man at her side looks as tired as Joel feels, but his expression lightens once he sees Joel. The relief in his little brother's eyes makes his heart feel just a bit lighter, and he finds himself responding in kind to the baffled smile that crosses Tommy's face. He feels pressure on his arm, and his attention shifts immediately to Ellie. Her eyes are wide, with fear or something else he can't decipher, and Joel pulls her closer without giving it much thought. He doesn't realize the implications of it all until he hears a sharp intake of breath across from them. He looks up just in time to see Tommy's face fall as his eyes come to rest on Ellie. Something like sympathy, like guilt, bubbles up inside of Joel. He crushes it down as quickly as he can. He has to focus. There's no room for anything else.

Tommy composes himself quickly, clearing his throat. "Callahan, get your gun out of my brother's face," he orders wearily, apparently addressing the guard closest to Joel. The other man opens his mouth either to explain or to protest, but Tommy adds, "Now," in a tone that brooks no argument. Joel watches with no small sense of satisfaction as the guard fumbles to lower his weapon, mumbling apologies. He tries to catch his brother's eye again, but Tommy seems to be intent on looking everywhere but at him.

The second guard backs off without a word, though Joel is certain it has something to do with the unimpressed stare Maria is sending her way. "Does anyone feel like telling me what the  _hell_  is going on here?" she asks irritably, gaze sweeping past them and up to the guards still at the top of the gate. "Well?"

"He wouldn't let us check the girl for infection," mutters the first guard, Callahan. To Joel's relief, Maria's face remains completely impassive – apparently she knows Ellie's immune, which spares them at least one awkward conversation- as she takes in the information and looks over to her husband. Tommy simply shakes his head, and makes a go-ahead gesture with his hand.

Maria closes the distance between her and the group gathered at the gate, posture casual and unbothered. "Joel doesn't take too kindly to strangers, especially when they're armed and crowding him and his girl," she explains calmly. "Tommy and I will check them over back at our place." Joel feels Ellie relax by small degrees beside him. He's filled with something near disappointment at the sudden diffusion of tension, but he offers her a small smile anyways. She returns it, a bit shaky, and he wonders somewhat bitterly if it's hard for her to look him in the eye.

His skin prickles with the sensation of being watched, and he raises his gaze just in time to catch his brother's eye. Tommy looks, for all the world, like someone's just massacred his entire town.  _He ain't far off_ , Joel thinks, and he has to fight to push the guilt down this time. "Why don't you head back up?" Maria says to the guards, clearly making note of the tension. "We can take it from here."

As the guards shuffle off, a heavy silence stretches on between the four of them. It's a standoff worthy of an old western. Despite the situation, Joel's mouth quirks upward, just slightly; he used to love those stupid old movies. The quirk is quick enough that no one catches it.

Well, no one except Ellie, but he's stopped counting her as a separate entity at this point; they may as well be the same person. Ellie and Joel. EllieandJoel. Running together like spilled ink on a page. And ain't that the damndest thing. She gives him a questioning look and he shakes his head minutely.  _Later_. She seems to understand it's not the most important detail right now, so she lets it go with little more than a raised eyebrow.

The situation in question is definitely complicated, to say the least. In an uncharacteristic show of meekness, Ellie is still standing behind him, eyes trained on the ground except when they flick up to meet his. It's just as well. He would have shoved her right back behind him anyways, the second he saw Tommy's face fall at her presence.

Though he holstered his revolver, his right hand still hovers over the holster. His gut roils at the idea of shooting his baby brother, but if he tries anything to hurt Ellie… to bring her back to that awful place… well. Joel has a fuckload of nightmare fodder already. What's one more?

Tommy seems to know that, because he stays completely still. Joel's right hand clenches and unclenches, until he feels something warm and soft slip in. He squeezes Ellie's hand and she squeezes back. They're both tensed, ready to run, to fight. But Ellie seems calm. Or maybe she's just better at hiding it than he is; fuck if he knows. Ellie's better than him at a lot of things, and in a lot of ways. For a brief moment he remembers her on the operating table, ready to give up everything for everyone else and he grits his teeth. Yeah, she's a whole lot better than him. Too good for her own good, the way he sees it. That's why he's here. Rough and fucked over and brutal. Someone needs to protect this damned kid from herself.

They stand there for what feels like an eternity, tensed and ready for the worst. Finally, Tommy clears his throat. Ellie's hand has what feels to be a small seizure and suddenly she's clenching his hand so hard he thinks she's drawing blood with her nails.

"We're okay," he mutters under his breath, flashing her a quick, small smile. She snorts quietly, the sound abruptly more amused than terrified. That's something, at least.

"Joel," Tommy speaks up, nodding slightly. "Ellie." Joel shifts slightly, trying to block the girl entirely from view. She makes a disapproving noise, nudging him hard in the back, enough to make him take the hint and shuffle over so they're standing side by side.

"Hi, Tommy," Ellie says quietly, offering a small wave with the hand that isn't currently shredding Joel's. Joel simply grunts in acknowledgement. Ellie nudges him expectantly.

"Tommy," he mutters. He sees –and ignores- the disapproving look she sends him, but she's satisfied enough to not push any further. There's a bout of silence that is more than slightly awkward. Maria has backed off a few yards, hovering tentatively behind Tommy. Maria does not strike him as the hovering sort, which probably means Joel isn't imagining the thick tension in the air.

It's not just the four of them, either. Everyone in the vicinity has stopped whatever they were doing before him and Ellie had barged in. Too many eyes are on them. Joel finds himself running through possible escape and, if necessary, attack options for the second time since they re-entered the town. Most of the townspeople are armed. He's taken out a whole troop of Fireflies but that doesn't make these people and their guns any less dangerous. It doesn't make him or Ellie any less dead if they get shot, either. He's been fucking lucky up until now, and he knows better than most how quickly luck runs out. Tommy must see the cornered animal look on his face because he holds up his hands in a sign of peace. His gun is still in his holster.

"Everybody clear out," Tommy says, and even though it's the second time today, Joel still can't wrap his head around hearing his little brother like this; authoritative, totally in control. It irks Joel for some reason even as he feels pride, possibly because he feels so  _out_  of control at the moment. Reluctantly, the settlers obey. Joel sees the question in their eyes as they look at him, and the suspicion. A few of their eyes rest on Ellie a little too long for his liking and his teeth flash momentarily. They move faster.

Eventually it's just them, Maria, and Tommy. Tommy deflates, rubbing a hand across his face. Joel notices now that his hair has more grey in it than the last time they met. His wrinkles seem to have multiplied as well.

"He looks old," Ellie whispers to him, echoing his thoughts. Joel simply nods. His little brother isn't so little anymore. He feels an odd pang in his heart at the thought, but shakes it off. Maria walks back up to her husband now, and puts a hand on his shoulder. He seems to relax slightly.

"Come on in," Tommy says quietly, and turns and walks away without another word. Joel follows cautiously, hand still by his revolver. Ellie doesn't let go of his hand. One entity. EllieandJoel. Whether they run or fight or die, they're damn well going to do it together. Neither of them is going to play hero. At this point, he knows it'd just be stupid. They're fucking lost without each other; if today's disastrous events did anything, it was to solidify that fact.

Ellie still doesn't have a gun on her, and he contemplates passing her one, but he doesn't want to instigate anything, either. He'd rather avoid a fight here. Still, Joel's realistic if nothing else. He keeps Ellie pressed to his side, close enough to shield her from harm if he has to.

Tommy leads them on an unfamiliar route, walking in grim silence. He leads them into a large, industrial structure that Joel assumes was once part of the dam facilities. They take the first door on the right into a small, well-lit room. There's a battered old desk and papers covering everything, and Joel makes out a few old pictures tacked to the walls. It feels lived-in. Joel feels surprisingly awkward, as if he's trespassing on a slice of everyday life.

"You have an office?" He can't hide the awed grin that creeps across his face when he figures out where they are. He's probably a second away from getting shot in the fucking head and he  _still_  can't keep the laugh out of his voice. He can't seem to reconcile the changeable little brother from his memory to this man who carries so much responsibility, so much influence on his shoulders. Tommy shoots him a look and Ellie nudges him in the ribs, but the tension doesn't spike the way he feared.

"Yes, I have an office." For the briefest moment, he's the same sassy younger brother Joel knew and loved and they both crack a smile despite themselves. The mood sobers again far too quickly; Tommy scrubs his face again, and just like that he's the old man once more. "Dammit, Joel." He looks up at the ceiling and exhales loudly. "What happened?" Joel and Ellie freeze at the exact same time. Just like that; the moment of truth.

"They stopped looking for a cure," Ellie blurts out, parroting Joel's earlier words. Joel is damn proud his face remains impassive while his insides recoil. The lie is so much worse, coming from her mouth. She won't –can't?- meet his gaze as the words settle over the room like a dark cloud. He's not stupid enough to believe this means she bought his lie. This is surviving, this is what they do; what he's taught her to do. Guilt swamps him all over again and he has to look away. Maria makes a sound that is less shock and more agonized acceptance, like she knew all along and Ellie just confirmed it. Tommy's stopped breathing.

"Bullshit," he growls. Joel opens his mouth to argue but Tommy cuts him off before he can even start. "I call bullshit. I know the Fireflies. They would never... they'd rather die than-" He stops talking. His eyes grow wide and he looks at his brother as if he's seeing him for the first time. "What did you do?" It's not the type of question you deny. Joel sets his jaw and turns his gaze away. "Joel, what the  _fuck_  did you  _do_?!" He's roaring now, angry like Joel only saw once, that last time in Boston when it all went to hell, fists clenched and he's stepping towards them and all Joel can think about is  _what if he hurts Ellie oh god no_  and Maria is grabbing Tommy and Joel is pushing Ellie back and trying to untangle their hands because there's gonna be a fight he can feel it-

Ellie calmly walks past Joel and stands between them. Joel tries to shout, tries to pull her back, but there's not enough  _time_  and he can see too clearly every way this can go south and it fucking  _paralyses him_.

"Back off." That's it. Faced with an angry, desperate man twice her size and more than twice her age, that's all she says. Steady and collected, like she was talking to a disobedient dog and not someone who could snap her neck. She doesn't offer excuses or explanations. Joel's hands aren't moving; he's trying to get his revolver, trying so fucking hard but his hands aren't fucking moving and if Tommy hurts her he'll shoot him and then shoot himself for being so fucking useless in a crisis.

Then, to Joel's complete and utter shock and what appears to be Maria's admiration, Ellie makes Tommy back up. She takes a step forward, and he steps back. His posture becomes less aggressive only by a fraction, but it's enough. Ellie nods her head and retreats to Joel's side. He grabs her around the waist and pulls her close, tightly enough that it'll probably bruise but fuck it she's alive,  _she's alive she's okay thank god_.

It all takes less than a handful of seconds.

Ellie, to her credit, takes it good-naturedly and even pats his arm reassuringly. Even though she doesn't speak, he can still hear it.  _We're okay._  Maria is watching them and her gaze is penetrating enough that Joel can't meet it for long. He focuses on Ellie instead, who meets the older woman's gaze head-on, hand tightening on his arm. He looks back up in time to see Maria shake her head, mystified, before turning her attention to her husband.

Tommy mutters an apology and deflates completely, leaning against his desk. His eyes shine and he keeps swallowing, like he's trying desperately not to cry. Joel sighs deep in his chest and for lack of anything resembling a chair near him, slumps down to the floor.

Ellie's grip on his arm is still strong, and he starts to drag her down with him before she can dislodge herself. It's all he seems to be good for anymore; dragging her down with him. Though she makes a small sound of surprise, she doesn't resist. He mumbles a half-assed apology and she shoves at his legs in response, moving to sit beside him. She doesn't let go of his arm, and he doesn't try to pull away.

Not for the first time, he finds himself unsettled by how familiar, how constant she feels beside him. He wonders grimly how much longer it will last; if this is the last time she'll be at his side before she can't bear the sight of him any longer.

He thuds his head against the wall once, twice, shutting his eyes and collecting himself for the explanation that'll either buy him and Ellie a home or set them running again. He doesn't even know which one he wants, anymore.

"The university was a bust," he begins slowly, voice hoarse. He opens his eyes, sees Tommy look at him incredulously, like he wasn't expecting an explanation. Ellie goes completely still beside him and something in his chest constricts painfully. "There were… recordings. They talked about this hospital in Salt Lake City, so we went there. Tried to, at least. There was a river we had to cross with these broken-down buses… I got trapped and Ellie nearly fuckin' drowned tryin' to save me-" He stops then and swallows back the lump that's formed in his throat.

Memories of Ellie cold and unmoving under his hands hit him full-force. The panic, the desperation of  _why the hell isn't she breathing_ , without knowing if she was ever going to open her eyes again… what the hell would he do if he never saw those eyes again… Ellie bumps his shoulder lightly with her own, and the contact brings him back, grounds him to the present. He weighs his words, uncertain how much to reveal or how far to go. He looks to Ellie, not sure exactly what he's searching for. Her expression is unreadable, but she inclines her head in a nod he takes as permission to continue.

"One of those bastards knocked me out. When I woke up I was in the goddamn hospital and Marlene was waitin'-"

"Marlene?" Tommy interrupts. "She still kickin'?"

"Not likely," Ellie mutters, low enough that only Joel hears. He stiffens at her words. They're going to have a long talk after the immediate danger has passed. He can feel it. He'd rather face an army of Infected, but… they need it. If he wants to keep her with him –though if he's being honest it stopped being a matter of  _wanting_  a long time ago- he has to face what happened today.

He watches warily as Tommy notes his body language, taking it as his answer, and shakes his head heavily. He wonders if his little brother will grieve the Queen Firefly. He can't find it in himself to  _care_ ; not considering what she would have done to Ellie. The woman doesn't  _deserve_ anyone's grief or tears, and it infuriates him that she'll get it in spades; from the fools still so sure the Fireflies are the answer, even from Tommy and deserters like him, from  _Ellie_.

Ellie, who lost more people in a year than anyone should in a lifetime, who  _trusted_  Marlene, who put her faith in her. Ellie put her faith in Joel once, too, and that might have been a bad idea but at least he never hurt her. At least he'd die before he let her be used. That's the bare minimum that she deserves, for all her goodness and all her heart, but  _at least he met it._ Marlene didn't. She looked at this impossible, tough-as-hell girl and only saw a scar, a cure. She doesn't deserves Ellie's grief, Ellie's pain, and the fact that she'll get it is enough to make him want to dig her out of whatever hole she's in now and shoot her again.

The rage building up in him is an awful, helpless thing that he has no way of exorcising. He swallows it down bitterly, refusing to let Ellie notice. She must think him enough of a monster already, without knowing how violently he curses the dead woman's name.

"This is gonna be a real long fuckin' story," he warns his brother, after he's gained enough control to speak without raising his voice or shaking. Tommy shut his eyes momentarily, apparently still processing the fact that his brother was able to take down Marlene, of all people, that he dared to do it. Joel doesn't blame him; he still doesn't quite believe it himself.

It was so easy, in the end; so goddamn easy to pull the trigger and know she couldn't come back for Ellie, couldn't hurt her any more than she's already been hurt –too much, too many marks left on her skin and on her soul and he failed her with those but at least he spared her the worst, the fatal-, that it was finally  _over_.

The stunned silence continues for a few moments, until Maria breaks it gently. "Come to our place. We can talk comfortably and privately." Tommy doesn't move, his expression far away and grim. She takes him by the hand and leads him out in a gesture so practiced that Joel has to wonder how often his brother gets lost in his own head. There's guilt there, and regret, but he can't deal with it. Tommy, as much as Joel cares for him, isn't his priority.

Ellie stands shakily, staring at the door with a lost expression that  _hurts_. He doesn't want to go, doesn't want to tell the whole story and watch her world come apart. He  _can't_  lose her, dammit, and he can't expect her to forgive him, either.

"Ellie…" Joel starts, the lump in his throat choking him. Where the hell is he supposed to start? He could say he's sorry, but he's not; not for killing Marlene, not for massacring the Fireflies, and  _definitely_ not for keeping her heart beating. If anything, he's sorry he took her to the fucking hospital, sorry he caused her even more pain. He could say these things, but he doesn't. She raises an eyebrow at him and tilts her head.

"You coming, old man?" Her voice is light despite the exhaustion, even teasing, but he can hear the steel underneath. They  _are_  going to do this. He sighs in defeat and takes her hand.

He's beginning to get the feeling that he's going to get led into trouble a whole fucking lot by that hand. But she's alive, her skin is warm under his, and she's  _here_. He can't bring himself to feel concerned at the prospect.


End file.
